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"Where did you come from baby?/How did you know I needed you?" - lyrics to the song 'Sexy Thing' by Hot Chocolate came to my mind after that first encounter with the Lotteria DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger TM.

After sampling just about every so-called hamburger on offer in Japan, I had all but given up on finding an end to my carnal cravings. Then one day, I saw it.

I was on my way to the train and I passed by the Lotteria Hamburger shop as I do every day. I would never have thought that Lotteria had the right burger for me, but I guess it’s true what they say about love, it could be right under you nose and you wouldn’t even know it. I saw, featured on a big poster in the shop’s window, the burger that would win my heart forever.

I stopped in my tracks. A feeling of longing came over me and my feet moved me, almost unbidden, through the door of Lotteria.

The astonishing features of the Lotteria DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger TM are three-fold. It is the size, the design and the taste which make it the Hamburger Supremus Maximus.

How can I tell you how big this burger is? If I was on a bus and a Lotteria DX Double Cheese Burger TM said to me “Gimme your seat”, I would do what I was told right away and I would consider myself lucky if Mr. Lotteria DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger TM didn’t take my lunch money. The thing is huge!

The bun measures 12 centimeters in diameter but has a hard time containing the block party that is the Lotteria DX Burger. Just wrangling one of these behemoths is a feat. I heard a story about an early Lotteria DX Burger chef who went on to glory as a member of the national discus team.

The Lotteria DX weighs in at a full 254 grams so one needn’t be shy about handling it with two hands. At 216 grams, the skimpy McDonalds Big Mac is left asking “Where do I sign up for Tai-Bo classes?”

The size of this hamburger is so great, in fact, that it might have posed a problem. The Lotteria website gives us the account of Mr. Kazu Nagashima, the DX burger’s ‘Harmony Development Team Manager’: “When we designed this hamburger”, the sage tells us “One of the important questions I had to ask was ‘How will the customer eat all without getting tired?’” I’m sure this soothsayer has already expounded on the philosophical question “If a delicious hamburger is prepared in a shop and nobody is there to eat it, does it still taste great?”

Nagashima had the solution to finishing a whole DX burger in spades. He would treat the customer to a different taste combination in each and every bite.

The arrangement of the vegetables, the bacon, the cheese and the plethora of savory sauces and seasonings is such that each new mouthful delivers an exciting, novel delight. While eating the burger, the gobbling is fast and furious, the taste buds beg for more after every bite and in no time at all, it is gone and the customer falls back in his seat, loosens his belt and lights a cigarette.

In addition to the artful arrangement, special care was taken by Nagashima and his team concerning the quality and quantity of the contents. For example, the pristine lettuce at Lotteria remains in the refrigerator, carefully maintained at the optimum 7 degrees Celsius, right up until the last moment before it is united with the host of other fresh ingredients in the burger.

I wouldn’t do the Lotteria DX justice if I didn’t tell you what these people are doing with bacon in the kitchens at Lotteria headquarters.

The previous Lotteria bacon burger came equipped with one layer of bacon cut 2 millimeters thick. But someone must have left the cap off of the glue in the design team’s office because they’ve gone and increased the bacon content to two layers of bacon cut 4 millimeters thick! This is not your Rabbi’s hamburger.

Last, but certainly not least, is the savory taste of the Lotteria DX Double Cheese SP Burger TM. By now it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that I find the taste of the DX to be above reproach. Eating a DX burger is like water-skiing across a sea of the most delicious sauce you can imagine. But instead of a handle, you are gripping a golden roll made for the gods. And instead of water-skiing you are having dinner.

The ingredients of the DX read like a who’s who of the residents of Ambrosia Burger Town. You’ve got succulent onions and pickles in there. Of course, bacon, lettuce and tomato are all at the party. If the creamy mayonnaise, ketchup and thousand islands dressing run down your chin, it’s not the worst thing that could happen to you but ‘youbetcha’ would like to keep it all in your mouth.

The patty is 100% pure beef from Australia and New Zealand(No BSE here) and only the wholesome, grain-fed cows make their way into the hallowed DX burger.

The symphony of taste culminates with the 8 types of original seasonings which remain a carefully guarded secret to this day.

A lot of people don’t believe in the perfect “one” for everyone. Maybe I didn’t either. All that I know is that my feelings for this hamburger are so strong. I can’t stand the thought of anything getting in the way of our relationship, for example, shorter business hours at Lotteria or an insufficient consumer demand for the product.

If you want to really know the taste of this hamburger, run, don’t walk to any of the 602 Lotteria stores across Japan and experience it for yourself. If you must put a price on love, the Lotteria DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger experience can be yours, in value combo form, for 700 yen. The combo includes French fries cooked to perfection and your choice of an exciting flavor of drink. You may wonder, as I have, how you ever got by without it.

Lotteria DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger – you complete me.