"Where
did you come from baby?/How did you know I needed you?"
- lyrics to the song 'Sexy Thing' by Hot Chocolate came
to my mind after that first encounter with the Lotteria
DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger TM.
After sampling just about
every so-called hamburger on offer in Japan, I had all
but given up on finding an end to my carnal cravings.
Then one day, I saw it.
I was on my way to the
train and I passed by the Lotteria Hamburger shop as
I do every day. I would never have thought that Lotteria
had the right burger for me, but I guess it’s
true what they say about love, it could be right under
you nose and you wouldn’t even know it. I saw,
featured on a big poster in the shop’s window,
the burger that would win my heart forever.
I stopped in my tracks. A feeling of longing came over
me and my feet moved me, almost unbidden, through the
door of Lotteria.
The astonishing features
of the Lotteria DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger TM are
three-fold. It is the size, the design and the taste
which make it the Hamburger Supremus Maximus.
How can I tell you how
big this burger is? If I was on a bus and a Lotteria
DX Double Cheese Burger TM said to me “Gimme your
seat”, I would do what I was told right away and
I would consider myself lucky if Mr. Lotteria DX BLT
Double Cheese SP Burger TM didn’t take my lunch
money. The thing is huge!
The bun measures 12 centimeters
in diameter but has a hard time containing the block
party that is the Lotteria DX Burger. Just wrangling
one of these behemoths is a feat. I heard a story about
an early Lotteria DX Burger chef who went on to glory
as a member of the national discus team.
The Lotteria DX weighs
in at a full 254 grams so one needn’t be shy about
handling it with two hands. At 216 grams, the skimpy
McDonalds Big Mac is left asking “Where do I sign
up for Tai-Bo classes?”
 |
 |
The size of this hamburger
is so great, in fact, that it might have posed a problem.
The Lotteria website gives us the account of Mr. Kazu
Nagashima, the DX burger’s ‘Harmony Development
Team Manager’: “When we designed this hamburger”,
the sage tells us “One of the important questions
I had to ask was ‘How will the customer eat all
without getting tired?’” I’m sure this
soothsayer has already expounded on the philosophical
question “If a delicious hamburger is prepared in
a shop and nobody is there to eat it, does it still taste
great?”
Nagashima had the solution to finishing
a whole DX burger in spades. He would treat the customer
to a different taste combination in each and every bite.
 |
 |
The arrangement of the
vegetables, the bacon, the cheese and the plethora of
savory sauces and seasonings is such that each new mouthful
delivers an exciting, novel delight. While eating the
burger, the gobbling is fast and furious, the taste
buds beg for more after every bite and in no time at
all, it is gone and the customer falls back in his seat,
loosens his belt and lights a cigarette.
In addition to the artful
arrangement, special care was taken by Nagashima and
his team concerning the quality and quantity of the
contents. For example, the pristine lettuce at Lotteria
remains in the refrigerator, carefully maintained at
the optimum 7 degrees Celsius, right up until the last
moment before it is united with the host of other fresh
ingredients in the burger.
I wouldn’t do the
Lotteria DX justice if I didn’t tell you what
these people are doing with bacon in the kitchens at
Lotteria headquarters.
The previous Lotteria bacon
burger came equipped with one layer of bacon cut 2 millimeters
thick. But someone must have left the cap off of the
glue in the design team’s office because they’ve
gone and increased the bacon content to two layers of
bacon cut 4 millimeters thick! This is not your Rabbi’s
hamburger.
Last, but certainly not least, is the savory taste of
the Lotteria DX Double Cheese SP Burger TM. By now it
shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that I find
the taste of the DX to be above reproach. Eating a DX
burger is like water-skiing across a sea of the most delicious
sauce you can imagine. But instead of a handle, you are
gripping a golden roll made for the gods. And instead
of water-skiing you are having dinner.
The ingredients of the
DX read like a who’s who of the residents of Ambrosia
Burger Town. You’ve got succulent onions and pickles
in there. Of course, bacon, lettuce and tomato are all
at the party. If the creamy mayonnaise, ketchup and
thousand islands dressing run down your chin, it’s
not the worst thing that could happen to you but ‘youbetcha’
would like to keep it all in your mouth.
The patty is 100% pure
beef from Australia and New Zealand(No BSE here) and
only the wholesome, grain-fed cows make their way into
the hallowed DX burger.
The symphony of taste culminates
with the 8 types of original seasonings which remain
a carefully guarded secret to this day.
A lot of people don’t
believe in the perfect “one” for everyone.
Maybe I didn’t either. All that I know is that
my feelings for this hamburger are so strong. I can’t
stand the thought of anything getting in the way of
our relationship, for example, shorter business hours
at Lotteria or an insufficient consumer demand for the
product.
If you want to really know
the taste of this hamburger, run, don’t walk to
any of the 602 Lotteria stores across Japan and experience
it for yourself. If you must put a price on love, the
Lotteria DX BLT Double Cheese SP Burger experience can
be yours, in value combo form, for 700 yen. The combo
includes French fries cooked to perfection and your
choice of an exciting flavor of drink. You may wonder,
as I have, how you ever got by without it.
Lotteria DX BLT Double
Cheese SP Burger – you complete me.
Ecdysiast
